Selling One’s Soul

Sometimes I feel like working is an act of selling one’s soul in order to gain position, money, material things and perhaps power and fame. I am putting power and fame as the least importance because not many people work for fame and power. Sometimes it just come along with the position whether someone like it or not. However, people do have dreams and sometimes big dreams. They want big cars, big houses, a lot of money, a lot of stuff. It doesn’t actually feel like wrong because whats wrong with owning stuff that you earn with your own effort, right? No. There is nothing wrong with that. Unless it empties your soul and takes you away from the real meaning of life.

For me, this thing happened. While  I was actively working I realized I numbed myself to so many things and learned to detach emotionally from so many things as well. By the end of the (working) day I always feel emotionally drained and exhausted. So what I did next to replenish my energy/my empty soul was to indulge myself in so many pursuits of pleasure such as buying things to make me happy albeit it being only a temporary fix. That was the daily cycle and the daily struggle.

I don’t hate working. I believe I can give myself totally into something that I believed in. I believe  there are such things called meaningful struggles and that people need struggle in order to grow and to build a good character.

But I also believe there is more to life than just (selling your soul) and just hatefully turning up to work. I believe people are meant to live life abundantly not in acquiring much but in learning the beauty of life lived slowly and in knowing what matter most in life. C.S Lewis once said, you don’t have a soul. You ARE a soul. You HAVE a body. So i believe what need to be fed most is the soul. What need to be taken care most is the soul.

But in feeding the soul, some people go to great lengths in pursuits for pleasure which is often than not, either makes people yearn for more or it leaves them even more emptier than before.

I did many things myself in pursuits of pleasure until there came a time in my life when I simply stopped to buy things or do things that used to give me happiness. Then I started to question myself about “What’s next?”. Because I could no longer see myself being happy hoarding more stuff and doing many things like more hiking, more running, etc..It almost felt like life itself had come to a halt.

I slowly turned away from all the things that used to give me happiness that of course come about as a way of curing myself from unhappiness in my routine job. Then, I realized this one thing. I realized, life turns out to be more meaningful when I don’t have to please my fleshly desire  and I don’t have to work with people that I don’t like. (Clue* – to choose whom you associate yourself with). I become more private, cultivating my own circle. There is a quote that says, you can be open, honest and real while still understanding not everyone deserves a seat at the table of your life.

I no longer feel the pressure of being accepted by other people generally (in terms of position, likability, anything to do with social acceptance). Yes it is bad to be hated, judged and simply unaccepted because it is true people greatest need is acceptance and greatest fear is rejection. But, normally people who really cares for you will always accept you for who you really are and that always start with how much you care for them too.

And so what I am trying to say is with all the realization that I have right now about stuff, soul and life, I find it easier to let go of everything. I learned to trust God more and to believe that He will provide. That I don’t have to hold on to so many preconceived ideas of how life should be lived. That more than anything, it is more important to trust Him and to give up all of my dreams and to follow His lead. With all of my heart.

I guess this is how the new chapter of my life begins..









Ten Pieces Of Inspiration

Cover of "The Palace Thief: Stories"

Cover of The Palace Thief: Stories

Cover of "Cast of Characters: Common Peop...

Cover via Amazon

I want to share some of the things that I have learned from my readings. These ten things I  want to share with you here are what I have carefully chosen and what I think most valuable lessons to me so far. 🙂

  1. Always be sincere, because it always get the message across. Lesson from Moon Geun Young.
  2. Be yourself. Stay in character because the character you have now is what bring you where you are. You really don’t need to act out of character (trying to be someone you are not). Lesson from T.D Jakes in Ten Commandments of Working in a Hostile Environment.
  3. To have the right aura. People can sense your aura be it good or bad. Everything has vibration and if you gives off the right or good vibration the universe and the person right next to you will sense it and respond to it accordingly.Lesson from Masaru Emoto.
  4. To be true to your heart. Search and do what excites you. God made people to live life to the fullest and not just to become complacent like a dead stagnant river which without flowing will never have enough life to sustain it. Lesson from John Eldredge in his book The Journey of Desire.
  5. Character is fate. You can’t hardly turned out to be different or expect people to change because character is what you are, a destiny. Lesson from Ethan Canin, as quoted from Heraclitus and written in The Palace Thief and Other Stories.
  6. If you are stuck somewhere you won’t be able to move on. So learn to mend each step that has broken before moving up any further  because if you don’t do that it will be coming back to you again and again until you have learned the lesson. Lesson from Katherine Brazeltone in Pathway to Purpose For Women
  7. Take up faith when you are fearful. These two (faith & fear)  always run together side by side. Lesson from Samuel Rodriguez in Path of Miracles.
  8. Destiny is determined by choices we made. Like Peter and Judas both at some point betrayed Jesus. However Judas chose to hang himself whereas Peter chose to redeem himself by becoming the “rock” and taking care of the people Jesus left for him to love. Lesson from Max Lucado in Cast of Characters.
  9. To release yourself from the “pact” you made a long time ago. Release yourself from the pact that keep holding you back and start again as a child of God.(You can’t never runaway from sinning as long as you live). Lesson from Paulo Coelho in his book The Valkyries.
  10. Your purpose in life is all in the roles you are playing now as an employee, a wife, a daughter, a friend and etc. It is the small thing in each of these roles that make up for the big purpose you have in this life. So before you ask God to give you that one big purpose, play the one you already have because perhaps those are the place your lesson lies before the next big thing/role you need to carry in the future. Lesson from Katherine Brazeltone  in Pathway to Purpose For Women.